God's Blessing on this Beautiful World With My Smartphone
by chronomasakari
Summary: Kazuma gets transported to another world, again. Crossover with Isekai Smartphone. This takes place roughly after the second novel of both series.


"So let me get this straight… this 'God' of yours let you bring one thing into your new world, and you brought your smartphone?"  
"That's about the gist of it."

"And I thought I couldn't have picked anything more useless to carry with me than that useless goddess..."

Here we have a sight that shouldn't be. On one side of a large round wooden table, sat Kazuma Satou. Sitting on a table with his prized weirdly named sword, Chunchunmaru, resting against the chair adjacent to him. Kazuma was in another world, but not "his" world.

To better understand why two visitors of another world sat together on this table, it's necessary we rewind a little bit.

* * *

"So Eris-sama, I'm sorry to ask you of this every time, but thanks to a certain nameless party member's explosion, I took a bit of friendly fire so I've come to visit you again, so don't mind me. Aqua may be a useless goddess but at least she has the abilities of an arch priest so I shouldn't be here long."

I sat on a familiar the small wooden chair with the back of it in front of me. It was a familiar dark room with checkered flooring with an otherworldly beauty across from me. I know I've died a few more times than I should have recently but she seems more disappointed than she should be.

"I'm not sure how to put this Kazuma, but you're soul is currently unable to revive into your world. You've crossed the road back to there too many times that it's currently closed for repair"

"So it's like a respawn timer huh?" I said while clicking my tongue. Eris looked at me quizzically but smiled and nodded as if she understood.  
"But it's okay, because I get to spend some time with a beauty like you!"  
"Also if you stay here too long your soul will automatically proceed to the afterlife"  
"PLEASE SAVE ME ERIS-SAMA"  
"However, I can grant you a small reprieve, I can transport your soul into a temporary body to keep it fresh temporarily to a different world where you could spend the day. Afterwards Senpai's revive spell will be able to work and bring you back"

I've grown accustomed to dealing with irregularities coming up so I'm not unreasonable, just like dealing with the irrationalities of any of his party's circumstances, I understood immediately what I had to do. At times like this a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

"Alright, I guess I'll take a quick break then."

* * *

I woke up, wearing my usual leather armor, for some reason Chunchunmaru was at my side. In his mind a winking Eris had a finger over her lips, "This is to help keep you safe, make sure you come back to me okay?"

"She really is the heroine of my story!" Kazuma screamed.

 _Well whatever, let's see how I can pass the time.  
_  
Gazing upon my surroundings, it was an unfamiliar forest. The world looked similar to where I came from, a world straight out of a fantasy RPG. I decided to scout the area before I heard a scream nearby.

 _Alright, it's time to be a hero! I'd like to start off on the right foot in this world even if I'll only be here temporarily._

Dashing around numerous trees, I arrived and saw a girl running away. I may have been gazing at her bouncing melons a bit too long but whatever, she's about to be saved by Kazuma-sama so it's a small price to pay. Glancing where she ran from I saw a lizard man running towards her, wielding a short sword and small round shield. _This really is another fantasy world._

WIth absolutely no ulterior motives in my mind about potentially saving an attractive young woman from danger, and not fantasizing at all about what kind of reward I might deman- that she might offer me, I jumped ahead grinning madly.

"Create Water! Freeze!"

Here's my old favorite, the water I shot out of my hand sprayed the pair, freezing them and the area beneath. Both slipped on the ice and landed on their rear ends. It looked a bit painful.

"Oops, I should've aimed a little better"

The Lizardman slowly got up, weary of the ice, began to turn his attention towards me.

"Well whatever, there's still time to make this right. Steal!"

I aimed at the Lizardman, hoping to disarm him with my favorite spell. But what I grabbed wasn't a weapon or shield. It was much softer, something much too soft to be a sword. Before I could look down to see what it was, a large door opened up in front of me. Out, came a teenage boy about his my, wearing a shimmering long white coat. He wielded a revolver in his hand.

 _Wait that's a sword? It had a short wide blade attached at the end of the revolver. This was a gunsword? Seriously that's so cool why can't I have anything like that?  
_  
The unnamed youth stepped out, saw the lizardman walking towards him with ill intentions in its eyes. Without speaking a word he pointed the sword at the lizardman and a loud bang was heard. Instead of seeing a gunshot wound through its chest, the lizardman just collapsed and stopped moving.

The youth clad in white saw the girl, but instead of seeing a relieved look on a girl who was just saved, she looked to be panicking.

"Is everything alright?" He asked the girl, but the girl shook her head and pointed behind him. Actually she's pointing at me. More specifically at my hand.

Turning around, he stared directly at me who stood a few feet behind him. He pulled out an object out of his pocket, no it was a phone, definitely a phone. I thought this was a fantasy world?

The youth looked down at his phone, looked up at Kazuma, and his eyes slowly proceeded towards my right hand. The hand that should've been holding the Lizardman's weapon. For the first time I looked down as well, what we both saw concurrently was a white laced handkerchief with a bright pink ribbon across the center.

 _Wait… I recognize the feel of this._ I used his other hand to stretch it out.

The girl's face turned bright red, because what I holding was not a handkerchief, but a pair of panties.

I grinned mischievously at my prize, but my uncanny foresight for bad situations kicked in and reminded me of the predicament that was pending.

"So you're the panty thief!" the youth exclaimed while he point his gunsword directly at me.  
"No wait let me explain! I was just trying to save her from the lizardman and tried to use my Steal to disarm him!"  
"So you didn't intend to steal her underwear?"  
"Of course not! I was going to wait until after I sav-" I cut himself off. No, can't say that, I'm only going to make the situation worse.

"Blade mode" The wide shortsword elongated and became a more standard looking longsword, except for the revolver barrel attached.

"That's awesome! I want one!"

The youth thrust his gunsword towards me as I finished exclaiming my excitement over his weapon, without much time to admire it I rolled to the left to dodge.

"Well too late I guess." I drew Chunchunmaru from its sheathe and began running towards my foe. Wielding my sword in a reverse grip I sliced towards his chest.

 _It's not like I can win in a straight up fight against a sword that shoots bullets._

My aim wasn't to overpower my opponent. While keeping the gun sword occupied with one hand I aimed my treasured Steal at the sword.

Tch, was hoping to get the whole sword. I then kicked off his opponent's chest to put some distance.

The boy in white pointed his weapon at Kazuma and fired-

A click was heard but no gunshot followed. I grinned and threw something the ammo I pulled out of his weapon back at his feet.

"You want these back?"

"Reload"

The bullets that I had just thrown on the ground disappeared. The boy smiled and pointed his gun once again at me.

 _No way, that's just not fair! What kind of world allows such overpowered weapons? Isn't this a fantasy world? Magitek shouldn't exist here!_

I swung up my hand to the right while chanting, "Create wind!" and immediately rolled left. The slight shift in direction from the wind and my dodging caused the shot to just miss, grazing past my ear.

 _What the hell, bastard! That was clearly aimed as a headshot. This isn't a story aimed at adults you can't have my brains flying out everywhere._

"Steal!"

 _Damn, it looks like I just got his wallet._

Bang! I dodged left.

Bang! I rolled right.

I repeated this process twice more, but I was exhausted and couldn't keep it up much longer.

"Create Water! Freeze!" I aimed at his feet. His next shot came as he was sliding and missed me high.

"Reload" He cast his unfair ability to reload his weapon. But when he tried to fire another shot, the trigger clicked and no shot was fired.

We both glanced at the wallet of his I had in my hand. I opened up the bag and saw numerous round bullets inside.  
"Hah! What are you gonna do now!"  
"Apport"

The ammo pouch disappeared from my hand.

 _No way- Seriously? That's my only redeeming ability! He has that too!?_

"Create Earth! Create Wind!"

I threw a mini sandstorm at him to try to catch him off guard.

"Reload, explosion" the words that came out of the one standing before me gave me chills. From a very recent experience, nothing good can come from the word explosion after all. I heard a gunshot, glancing at where the weapon was pointed, I breathed a slight sigh of relief as it was aimed at the ground in front of me. The briefest of moments passed, and it burst in front of me throwing me back.

"Reload, paralysis" The youth once again pointed his weapon at me. The trigger squeeze of the gunsword was the last thing Kazuma heard before blacking out.

* * *

Looking at him, he has an an air that he doesn't belong in this world. I imagined that I exude the same presence. His clothing seemed slightly off, nothing outrageous, he wore black pants, a white shirt wrapped in some leather armor and a green cape, but the style didn't quite match anything around here.

I had helped the girl out and made sure she got back to her village safely. Tying the green-caped boy to the tree just so he couldn't get away. He was certainly a panty thief, I verified it on my phone before I used Gate to come here, and I double checked again before I tried to subdue him. He had the girl's panties in his hand when I arrived here so everything should be in order but-

Earlier to help pass the time, I had taken a quest from the guild. It was a Black quest, something I took to pass the time rather than for the reward. I was to capture a panty thief, it's the type of quest I could never bring the others. I couldn't expose Yumina and the others to something like this. But the issue is the guild specified that the perpetrator was an old man with lecherous eyes. Certainly the boy in front of me possessed eyes that could be called lecherous, but the age didn't match up. The guild's requests are usually never wrong but it's been known to happen, did they make a mistake? I guess I'll straighten it up when he wakes up.

Kazuma gasped for air upon waking up. His memory hazy he looked around to see where he was. He ran the situation through in his head.

 _Let's see, I died (again) and because I couldn't be revived right away Eris-sama sent me to another world to pass the time. I arrived here, and immediately got mistaken for a panty thief. I can't spend 5 minutes without the world thinking I'm some lecherous beast can I?_

Finally remembering the events that took place before, he glanced up and saw the white-clad youth who had put him down earlier. Kazuma clicked his tongue, and looking away began to speak.

"You know this is the thanks I get for trying to do something good isn't it? If this new world is gonna be like this I should've just stayed dead!"

The youth's ears perked up upon hearing those words, "New world?" He thought.

"Hey you, panty-thief, what's this about a new world?"  
"Don't call me panty thief! I have a name you know! It's Kazuma, Satou Kazuma"  
"Are you from Eashen?"

In a weird twist of fate, everyone's favorite question when meeting Touya was asked by none other than Touya himself. The irony was not lost on him as he was grinning madly when speaking.

"Eashen? What the hell is that?"  
"So Japan then, right?"  
"Hah!?"

Upon hearing about Japan, a name dear to his heart that he had slowly begun to forget about, Kazuma curiously glanced at the white-clad Youth.

* * *

After exchanging names and realizing the two were from the same hometown, well country but when you are transported into another world by the whims of the Gods your country may as well be your hometown, the two felt an instant bond grow between them. Touya began to explain the details of his world, it was a world filled with fantasy and magic, not unlike what Kazuma had been experiencing in his newfound home.

"Kazuma, it sounds like we're in a similar boat. Did that nice old God send you over here too?"  
"Nice!? That useless goddess is the root of all my problems! She spends all her time practicing her party tricks and instead of helping us on quests she just runs from monsters and attracts undead everywhere!"  
"It seems like you have had a rough time over there…"

Kazuma had explained his situation and how he had just arrived in the world shortly before they fought. Touya apologized to Kazuma for the mistake. Not like he was in the wrong per se, Kazuma was a panty thief after all just not the one he was looking for, but he did feel a bit bad at battling a fellow Japanese.

"Still, I have a quest I have to complete because I don't want to get hit by the penalty, so if you'd like to join me I can treat you to dinner afterwards to make up for it"  
Putting his arm around Touya, Kazuma grinned, "I'm beginning to like you, let's go off on an adventure!"

Afterwards, the pair caught the panty thief, after zooming out on his smartphone map a bit Touya identified another panty thief nearby, they apprehended him and turned him over to the guild for punishment.

They took a seat nearby the guild counter and ordered food. Touya began explaining how he was able to bring his smartphone to his new world, which brings us to the present.

"It's actually super useful. All communication and posting options are disabled, but I can still use the internet, and I can inject all kinds of magic into it. I can even make it search for stuff and it'll give me pins for stuff I'm looking for"  
"No way that's just like an MMO! I bet it'd make those stupid fetch quests the guild gives out a ton easier"

Across from Kazuma sat Mochizuki Touya. His prized white cloak resting on the chair he was seated on, his gunsword, Brunhild still on his waist.

"So you mean you have unlimited battery power and data? Why didn't I think of that" Kazuma bemoaned.

"Well, the cellphone was just extra, the god gave me a big boost to all of my abilities and felt like he wanted to give me a little more so I asked to bring over my smartphone."  
"Huh, sounds like you've had it nice and easy"  
"I'd appreciate it if you stopped glaring at me like that."

Kazuma, clearly jealous of the easy ride Touya has had couldn't hide his disdain.

"Still, I bet you had a hard time getting used to your new life here huh? I know when I got to my world I had to sleep in a stable for it felt like weeks. You know it's basically impossible to get the smell of horse poop out of your clothes after a while?"  
"Yeah, after a few weeks of doing miscellaneous guild work I ended up saving the King's life and his daughter immediately proposed to me, it's caused me no end of hassle.

"Like hell that's a hassle!"

Kazuma sighed, thinking about the unfairness of the situation he had compared to Touya. Sensing this, an idea formed in Touya's mind.

"Well, honestly I spend a lot of time making random items from back home and it gets a lot of attention here. I wouldn't mind some help if you'd like to come work for me."  
"What seriously! Are you a saint! That sounds amazing!"

Kazuma began to seriously consider the offer. The mountain of debt he's incurred because of his useless party would instantly be wiped clean and he'd be off to a fresh start in another new world. And he could probably get a gunsword too! While entertaining these thoughts, he heard a familiar grating voice in his head.

"KAZUMA! I'm ready to cast revive so get ready to come back""

Kazuma's eye began twitching and veins began bulging on his forehead.

"Dammit Aqua I don't want to come back anymore! I'm tired of dying, it seriously hurts you know!"

"C'mon Kazuma, Megumin locked herself in her room until now crying because she accidently killed you"

"I-I wasn't crying because of Kazuma, I was just hurt because that explosion took more mana than usual, th-that's all!"

Kazuma sighed. While he'd never admit it, deep down he felt a sense of regret for causing Megumin sadness.

"Uh, are you okay?" Touya asked.  
"Sorry, I'm talking to one of my party members from my world, it seems they want to bring me back. I appreciate the offer but it's probably time for me to get back, they couldn't do anything without me after all."

"That so, well it was great to meet you, Kazuma."  
"Yeah same, if we could've been reborn in the same world we could've made a hell of a party. By the way if you don't mind I'm gonna steal your idea of selling Japanese goods, maybe it'll help me get out of our massive debt. Anyway, good luck future King"  
"Who said I wanted to be king!"  
"Huh, guess I misunderstood"

Kazuma smiled as he stood up. Nobody was more surprised than he was at his decision to decline Touya's offer, but somewhere in the back of his heart he might've felt just a twinge of homesickness. He walked outside, looked up to the sky.

"Hey I forgot to ask you earlier, could you…. You know, look up naughty websites on your phone?"  
Touya blushed, "I don't see why not, I mean the thought certainly crossed my mind but I… I'm a bit scared.

"Oh no way, hey I got some time let's go on another journey together!" Kazuma grinned while beginning to fade away.  
"No wait! Aqua-sama! Stop casting I have to help Touya with something impor-"

Touya blinked and Kazuma was gone.  
Stare.

Stare..

Stare…

Behind him he felt a gaze looking into the depths of his soul he hadn't felt in a while, and a pair of heterochromatic eyes were locked onto him.


End file.
